Ultra Romance’s Warthog Wash Wiper Dirt Tourer

Over the years, we’ve featured many of Benedict‘s bikes here on the site. They’re always a lil bit of weird with a dash of kooky but the result of a lot of ‘pondering over a wooden pipe’ functional. For the latest build, which we dubbed the Warthog Wash Wiper, all the above applies.

In short, this bike is a desert bulldozer, yet not one you’d find Hayduke underneath with a 3′ wrench and a cheater bar. This is a bicycle, not a machine for destruction. The Warthog Wash Wiper, aka WWW, is an all-rounder dirt tourer, and it comes alive when the sand gets deep, where normal bikes become less than ideal trekking poles.

First Objective: Sand

26″ fat up front, 27.5″ in the rear. Take one look at this bike’s side profile and you’ll see what Benedict was thinking: big ol’ fatty tire to smooth the track over, with a 27.5+ tire to slide right through. Rather than go full-fat front and rear, with the accompanying q-factor and slow acceleration, Poppi wanted to maintain the relatively fast pedaling of a 27.5+ bike with the ability to roll through loose silt and sand typically found on desert bikepacking routes. This bike, if it makes it to production, will have the option of rolling on two 27.5+ wheels, or a fatty fork and 26″ fatty tire on the front. As you can imagine, the WWW would provide many problems for a framebuilder to solve, which is why Benedict commissioned Darren Larkin to design and build it. Darren loves a good challenge.

Second Objective: Water

Like all desert creatures, the Warthog has adapted to exist with little or no water on its route. Through a unique water bladder, which will carry 12 liters, as well as a 128oz bottle on the downtube, the WWW is capable of carrying enough gourmet food and artesian water for a 5-day self-supported desert tour in an unassuming package.

Third Objective: Build Kit

Through using two Fab’s Chests and a custom framebag – in this case, a DFL Stitchworks bag – the WWW can carry all one would need while on a spirit quest in the desert. Like most of Benedict’s bikes, it utilizes a manual bail-out front shifter to keep things simple. He also added an extra outer ring to work as a bash guard. A grip shift-actuated rear mech throws from a 10-50t range for when the going gets tougher. What really makes this build unique, however, are the custom Madrean bag racks and handlebars, the latter of which Hubert scrawled his name across the bullmoose nose in blue paint marker.

Fourth Objective: Shred

I think we’re all of the belief that you can have fun on just about any bike, when you look at it subjectively. This bike, however, provides a very unique ride with lots of traction up front, pulling the rear behind it like it was on rails. The wide bars steer, or careen this steed through singletrack and overgrown doubletrack, and the modern Scandinavian geometry can handle all that water and Whole Foods portage weight.

So will this bike ever be for sale? That’s his objective. The Warthog will be available in three sizes, with optional wheel choices for the front, and in this beautiful sage green color, with a DFL Stitchworks bag, custom water bladder, and a dollup of olive oil. He’s already got a sponsored rider on one right now!

Be on the look out for more from 🌹bikes in the near future.

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