Finding Myself

I got my first bike in 2010 and a few years later I was moving around four different cities, racing alleycats, road, cyclocross, MTB. I rode ultra distances along Route 66 and Translabrador Highway – the bike took me so many places, yet I began to realize I was looking for something I couldn’t find.


I had a troubled past, and instead of healing, facing it head-on, I was blaming myself. I didn’t put up boundaries, I wasn’t painting my own picture. I was balancing on the edge of an abyss.

I was projecting the best image I could on the outside, through social media, Instagram, and other places, but that wasn’t how I truly felt, it wasn’t really me – I decided it was time to change.

I‘d been hiding from the demons of my past, from my childhood, my family. I tried to carry on, thinking I could just survive and constantly keep ahead without them catching up with me. I couldn’t keep running though and after years of carrying this burden around, I realized that it wasn’t going to go away.

Relationship breakdowns, family problems, medical interventions, they accumulated. I let go and searched for help, personal and professional. I decided to stop running away from it all and let it all crash over me – knowing for the first time I wouldn’t sink.

Nature is precious, and it’s just waiting to be explored, it doesn’t care who you are, how you’re feeling, what bike you ride or what shoes you wear, where you are, how you got there – there’s always an adventure waiting outside your door, a landscape to see, someone new to meet, sounds and scents that stay with you for a lifetime. Outside is whatever you make of it, often it’s where you find yourself because ultimately, that’s what we’re all looking for.

With this project, I hope to inspire humans, women, men, kids, and people to keep looking forward to moving their lives into a better life. The outdoors can get you wherever you want, can make you see the world with other eyes, no need to go far, no need to change your life for it just need to wake up and do what you love.

Balance is the key to life, if you achieve balance, you achieve control in life.


Editor’s note: thanks to Sami for opening up about this project. If you are feeling depressed or deeply unhappy, please seek professional help. A good resource is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). You can call anytime, toll-free in the United States (800) 662-4357. SAMHSA runs a 24-hour mental health hotline that provides education, support, and connections to treatment. It also offers an online Behavioral Health Treatment Locator to help you find suitable behavioral health treatment programs.