An important part of bike touring is self-care. And today, Travis takes that to a very intimate level with his praise for A+D Ointment, a diaper-rash remedy that isn’t just for babies.
Some people love to suffer. The thrill of big multi-day rides comes, in part, from triumphing over repeated setbacks like bad weather, bad roads, or just bad luck. And I totally get it. Type-1 and type-2 fun go together like peanut butter and chocolate. But I have a pretty narrow definition for the kind of suffering I’m into. I like long, unrelenting efforts on (and off) the bike. I like depriving myself of rest so I can get ahead of schedule or depriving myself of food so I can get a 7-Eleven chicken Baja Taquito. But I don’t like rain. I don’t like heat. I don’t like mud. Basically, I don’t like being uncomfortable.
And like many cyclists, my quest for comfort begins at the butt. To get this out of the way, I’m a chamois lifer. Some of the issues I’ll be talking about may be eased by pitching the pad. But that’s just never worked for me. I don’t like the flapping or the sliding of pedaling in baggy shorts. And I appreciate the added softness, whether it’s on the traditional foam saddles on my mountain bikes or the leather Brooks saddles on my touring bikes.
I am pretty picky about my saddle, though. Especially when it comes to its angle and its position. And I’m a fan of chamois cream. I’ve found that I stop needing it after about five days, but it’s not often that I do trips that long. Chamois cream is part of my three-point regimen to prevent the many cascading issues that can originate from our nether regions. The second point of that regimen is cleanliness, and the third is my beloved A+D ointment.
Like many of us, I first encountered this stuff as an infant. It says it right on the tube. “Diaper Rash Ointment.” Ya’ can’t blame an infant for failing to keep things clean and dry down there. And let’s be honest. You can’t blame an adult on day five of a week-long bike tour, either. There’s a lot of sweating and rubbing going on, and only short stretches of rest in between. Also, I eat a lot of calorie-rich gas-station food on tours. Just a couple days of that, and things get a little loose, if you know what I mean. After my tent is up and nature has called, I do a quick cowboy bidet and apply a thin coat of A+D in all my dark creases. Forgive the graphic descriptions, but you knew what you were getting yourself into when you clicked on this story.
A+D ointment is known as an “emollient,” which pretty much means it’s a moisturizer. It’s got two active ingredients, lanolin and petrolatum. Lanolin is a wax-like waterproofing substance extracted from sheep’s wool, and petrolatum is essentially Vaseline. So, it kinda just locks moisture in to help damaged skin heal itself. Combine a lot of friction and a lot of sweat with nowhere to go, and skin will swell and be more fragile. So, even if you’re not giving yourself an adult diaper rash, simply pedaling a bike for a long time can irritate skin.
And there are other, less embarrassing uses for A+D. It can soothe burned or chafed skin. It’s a passable alternative to chapstick or antibiotic ointment. And although I learned this a little too late to try it in a desperate moment this summer, I heard that you can apply it inside your nostrils to prevent nosebleeds in dry climates. That is, if you can stand the smell. It’s some pungent stuff. Maybe it’s the cod liver oil, which is listed in the inactive ingredients. Speaking of which, that and the lanolin mean A+D is not vegan.
For travel-friendly options, they sell it in a 1.5 oz size or in 5g single-use packets, but I’ve only seen the packets under generic brands. I’ve got the big boy in my medicine cabinet at home, so I pump my supply into a small refillable plastic tube. If you go that route, I recommend putting it in something durable and well sealed. This stuff is pretty messy if, just as an example, you don’t tighten the cap all the way and it squeezes out all over your first-aid bag. Ask me how I know.
Like any bikepacking essentials list, it’s a slippery slope once you start adding luxuries. If I put one more product in my compact cosmetics bag of creams, drops, and lotions, I’m gonna need a bigger banana boat. But my A&D is crucial. Nothing ruins a ride like a bad case of swamp-ass. Except maybe a literal swamp. I don’t like mud.
