The Best Craigslist Post Ever Nov 19, 2008

I won’t say anything… just read it here.

I’ve also copied the text and took a screen shot here on my Flickr. I really want to have a beer with that dude.


  • hahaha. WOW. amazing. i have nothing else to say.

  • Andrew

    Holy shit… no one can claim hardcore is dead. Even if that was merely a piece of humorous prose, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Too funny.

  • motivatedbyhate

    best thing ive seen on craigslist by far

  • adrian

    that was epic. hats off to that guy!

  • kale

    I hope you meant that you wanted to have a beer with the driver.

    It’s not so much that the biker or the car was the problem, it the fact that he swung at the guy that was helping him.

    That was the most engrossing thing I’ve read… that guy deserves a Pulitzer.

  • of course I wanna have a beer with the driver!

  • Fixed_hesh

    Iam glad that you guys think bulling and racism are cool and that “you wanna have a beer with this dude” He is obviously just trying to rationalize kicking the shit out of some kid, and how he now feels bad about it. Yeah the kid was stupid, but that’s beside the fact. I guess you guys probably love the “car wins over bike” quote too.

  • Actuall, Mr. Hesh, when you live in Brooklyn and or NYC, you see a lot of kids riding like idiots. Blowing reds when they barely look, lack of control over their bikes, hitting pedestrians and riding against traffic like they’re in a race against time.

    I think this post was great because:
    -it’s most likely fake
    -it’s written well
    -he referenced Venom

    I’ve seen a number of kids freak the fuck out when people walk in front of them, when cars come within 48″ on either side of them and when they’re [the cyclist] is doing something illegal that puts them at risk with a collision with a car.

    I break my share of traffic laws, but if I ran a red light and hit a car. Read that again, HIT A CAR, not the other way around, the last thing I would do is take a swing at a helping hand.

    If I was driving and some kid did that to me, I probably would have kicked his ass too.

    The mentality of a lot of people who move to these neighborhoods is that they run the place. It’s like for the first time in their lives, their parents aren’t around to reprimand them and so they mouth off to everyone in the most ironic way possible.

    I could see this scenario, even if fabricated, happening again.

    After all is said and done, the reality is, when it’s “car vs. bike” – the car always wins. Not saying it’s justified for drivers to hit cyclists, in fact, I hate it when a friend of mine gets hit, but I do believe that if you ride like an asshole and you are reckless, you’re playing with fire. 2 tons of fire.

    He’s not being racist either. No more than most satirical blog writers [see Vice, Street Carnage, Blog Ni**er].

    Lighten up Mr. Hesh and learn to appreciate humor.

  • Fixed_hesh

    I am sorry, if I don’t find this funny but people talking shit is no longer humorous to me (I believe I grew out of this in high school if not freshman year). I just don’t appreciate the sheer amount of hate that seems to have become commonplace within the track bike “scene.” Bloggers (like Vice and Bikesnob NYC) seem to not only appreciate this hate but also perpetuate it to the point where riding a track bike is almost synonymous with talking shit about other people. Sure I don’t live in New York and might not get the humor of this but I feel that there is already enough negative energy surrounding our “scene.”

  • Fixed_hesh

    oh but mentioning Venom almost saves this craigslist post from being completely worthless.

  • I agree with you completely man. But he doesn’t say the kid is riding a track bike…


    As a lightening rod of hate myself, I get tired of it too. Sometimes it’s good to laugh though.

    thanks for the input

  • kale


    I think you may fail to understand the subtle difference between real hate and satire. BSNYC and Vice are not real hate; self-loathing is more like it.

    Violence is a part of life, and unless you grew up homeschooled by Quakers (not that there’s anything wrong with that), if you throw a punch at someone you better be able to back it up.

    This applies in small towns almost more than in NYC.

  • Awesome.

  • SLAYER F*CKING SLAYERRRRR! this has probably been one of the most entertaining reads i have ever laid eyes on. thrash? check. violence? check. ignorant f*cks? check.


  • Beefy McManstick

    But he’s going to see Agnostic Front, so it is completely worthless. Totally cancels Venom.