Mr. Pubes Goes to Interbike – Bicycle Pubes

Mr. Pubes Goes To Interbike
Words and Photos by Bicycle Pubes

“Could somebody please, find Bicycle Pubes, get a hold of this mother fucker so that I can make sense out of all of this!?”

The question had been asked, by numerous people, all over the globe, possibly on other planets too. But where was the answer? More importantly, where was Bicycle Pubes? This industry is a real puzzler and Interbike needed to expertise and the cognitive capacity of a real heavy hitter to sort all of this hoity toity lithium battery open mold bullshit out.

Luckily, John Watson was off vacation and back home in LA, where he had access to the Pubes Signal. Unluckily, I cannot afford a house close enough to LA to actually see the Pubes Signal, so after several days, John just called me at home. Told me to go to Interbike. I said no I’m watching a Scrubs marathon. He said come on bro. I said OK fine. He said cool. I said fuck yeah it’s cool. Then he hung up.

Several anxiety pills and anxiety burritos later, Bicycle Pubes landed in the dogshit town that is Las Vegas. That’s me. I’m Bicycle Pubes.

Without further adieu, here is some shitty art.

____

Follow Mr. Pubes on Instagram.

  • Kawika Samson

    LMAO

  • ROFL

  • meaty_urologist

    @porous_walker already makes those socks.

  • Pubes, your art is at the top of its game. The rip Ti mug needs to be a buttcheek tattoo.

    • thanks john. i was thinking tramp stamp with “several regrets” under the mug. In comic sans.

      • Rye Young

        Make it into literally anything. Still gonna buy it.

  • jtbadge

    Who the fuck is this guy.

    • He’s from Portland. That where I mailed his check. I think he works for Snow Peak.

      • Andrewthemaker

        You can’t have a finger on the pulse like Pubes has by being in PDX. This kinda visionary thinking can only come from more humble roots🤔 #whoisbicyclepubes

      • Dirk

        My guess is Pubes is a disgruntled QBP employee. He is way too in tune with, and critical of, their brands.

        • Nope (I know who he really is)

          • Dirk

            Cool. Happy to stand corrected.

          • YoungG

            GUESS AGAIN MR. DIGGLER.

          • mrbiggs

            I imagined him as Kyle before John. I mean come on.

          • ChicanoHoodPass

            John Watson = Pubes
            Pubes = John Watson
            Prolly = Pubes
            Nice try Mr. Watson, but SMH thinking we’re not on to you… pssshht. Commenting to yourself as Dr. Curly Hair. Smh!

          • You got me!

          • mjsenz

            If you spend hours scouring the site, connecting all the dots, looking carefully in the corners of every image, highlighting every 27th letter in every third post, all signs point to Prolly = Pubes. It’s some real Verbal-Kint-Keyser-Söze shit.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5k73jx2mIc

          • spencer harding

            But who is FRED?!?

        • jtbadge

          He’s got boots on the ground on that front after saying “Bye Bye Bye” to some way more expensive shit to ride a Salsa Timberlake.

          • also ive owned like 11 surlys in my lifetime. if anything im just a disgruntled QBP fanboy.

          • jtbadge

            Better get at that even dozen.

        • breed007

          I bet he’s just some 30-something white guy living in a Midwest suburb with his wife and kid. And this whole thing is just a way to kill time at work.

    • Bil Thorne

      Questions like that get you shanked.

    • breed007

      Jared Kushner

      • jtbadge

        But pubes’ emails!

        • breed007

          And obvious QBP collusion.

  • breed007

    I really wish I would have been at the Focus demo.

  • Dan Gullbongs

    The Ti mug is dead, Long live DangleBongs™️

  • Raoul Morley

    This is excellent, I need more of this in my life!

  • Theodor Rzad

    HIGHlarious as alsways

  • Yes please.

  • Christopher San Agustin

    This made my day!! Hahah

  • Raymond Walker

    Much approval from this kook. 👍

  • earle.b

    Ohhhh Wera Hex Plus bits in the new Abbey tool. Smart choice on the Wera vs a traditional shape hex.

  • Dirk

    The EAI/BTTF one killed me.

  • Nicholas Petersen

    I love the Hope slide. Real recognize real.

  • Raymond Walker

    PS: Didn’t Thomson advertise the setback post last year with a coming-out spring 2017?
    …is this the new “Surly-Dirt-Wizard-Gate” ?!?!?

    • Sometimes it takes a lil longer to put a product out. 🤷🏼‍♂️

    • AaronBenjamin

      I guess they are really busy building really useless stuff like jet, satellite and space ship parts.

  • sturtlovinggood

    Don’t miss this amazing opportunity, DeFeet

    • i wont even be the first to put pubic hair artwork on a DeFeet sock. A truly special company.

  • Hollis Duncan

    Mssrs. Pubes and Richard Fucking Sachs need to do an art class for the industry bros

  • Sean Quill

    Trip Report Report Card score/grade = 55MSI8536061T6-Ti-SewperBewst++

    • I don’t find it mean at all and the emails from companies and personalities today has been overwhelmingly positive.

  • joshhh

    This post counts as The Radavist’s all-time low point. Why be mean to all these companies?

    • I don’t find it mean at all and the emails from companies and personalities today has been overwhelmingly positive.

      • ez

        If one takes Teh Pubez too seriously, perhaps taking some time for a little “pube searching” is appropriate.

    • 415Native

      I’m happy to see some snark on this site, personally. I associate The Radivist with gushingly positive reviews of the cool guy bike of the week, this is the first thing that’s brought me here in years. Good to see some humor about the industry for a change.

      • Well, we’re back to cool guy bike reviews tomorrow. Sorry! ;-)

        • joshhh

          I am definitely not a cool guy and fine with things being more lighthearted. I guess I just don’t even find this funny, though I do find plenty of other things funny, so I don’t really get it. Whatever, carry on!

          • i dont hold it against anyone if they dont find me funny. sometimes i annoy myself. i also draw poop with MS paint and use made up words frequently.

            maybe if you followed me on instagram youd get a better idea of the absurdity of it all. and that nothing is to be taken seriously. and that i fully support #selfcalloutculture and shit on myself, literally and figuratively. and like john said, companies have responded well and been good sports about it. if they didnt, i would probably start feeling bad and stop what im doing.

            also what about all that nice shit i said? defeet a good company? lauf fork was a treat? ginger ale shot blox was extra fucking delicious (seriously i was crushing them)? Also, it is absolutely not my fault that the new Jones Bars look like a spaceship.

          • mjsenz

            The industry takes itself waaaaaay too seriously sometimes. Someone needs to make light of the hardcore bike shop bros pretending to get boners for the newest Specialized stuff they’re trying to shill.

    • White Mike

      Actually, this comment is the all-time low point. Live a little Joshhhhhhh!

  • AdamBike99

    Sinking to absolutely the tightest heights!
    The Heightest
    Curly Side Up

  • campirecord

    I’ve been swapping the Defeet Pubes edition words into a “comptine” (nursery rhyme) with my younger kid. We are French so we are trying to get his english game tight AF. It’s a good one, I hope he brings it to school to show misses Suzy.

    Give it a shot everyone:

    Fuckyfuckyshitfuck
    Peepeedodoo
    Allthebuttsballsballhair
    Genitalsdrugsgenitalsdrugs
    Alroker

    He doesn’t seem to mind any of it but keeps asking “what is an alroker?”

    • Rob Dickerson

      Put it on a sock

  • Papi

    I’m confused about how I should feel about this. On the one hand, I love the Radavist. Content is great. Bikes are great. Stories are great. On the other hand, I love me some Bicycle Pubes. Hilarious. But the two together give me an uneasy feeling. Like watching porn with your grandma. I’ve got to do some soul searching now. Thanks for turning my world upside down @johnprolly:disqus

    • It’s like watching a Ben Stiller movie. Uneasy all around.

      • Gus

        I still have nightmares from Meet the Parents / Meet the Fockers

  • tylernol

    Onyx puts paperclips in their freehub bodies to kill the bee buzzing?

  • Mike Major

    You know you’re at a certain point of being “a cyclist”, one who not only loves cycling, but also spends FARRR too much time on the internet, when you can fully understand all this scribble tits jargon blargon from Pubes.

    • i hope people read my shit and say to themselves “ah i fucking hate that i find that funny.”

      • mjsenz

        You should see the look my wife is giving me while I’m sitting here giggling like a little school girl at this ridiculous shit, and I keep telling her “you won’t get it”. The shame I feel right now is real.

  • YoungG

    This post was a little long. Could’ve used a trim.

    • you only trim when your down-there-hair gets too long and it gets hard to see your peeps.

  • Smithhammer
  • Noah Behnke

    Pretty sure pubes is Kevin Durant

  • Hey @drcurlyhair can we get this printed on an enamel mug? Do you have a bigcartel? Do accept bitcoin?
    http://theradavist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/ripdangle-1335×954.jpg

  • Andy Moore

    What great reportage and high res images to boot! :P
    *LOVE*

  • I honestly considered only looking at half of this post today because I wanted to save some for later. It’s like too much good stuff all at once.

    Feels good to laugh out loud at your desk. Cheers Pubes.

  • Ace Metric Cycles

    Last week, I seriously got a call from a customer specifically asking for a folding,E,fat bike. I quit.

    • Smithhammer

      You should have replied, “You betcha. And if you buy one this week, we’ll throw in a free bundt cake.”

  • Smithhammer

    Can we cap this at 69 comments? Seems appropriate.

    Dammit – that makes 70.

  • Mike Kimbro

    I found myself reading a review of damn bike racks on instagram the other day, mistakenly thinking it was pubes and waiting for the lolz to come. It wasn’t and they didn’t. The lolz never came. THE LOLZ NEVER CAME!

  • Armand

    Long haul Krampus?! HAhahahahahah

  • mrbiggs

    Suggestion: Send Pubes aka Dr Curly Hair on a rad bicycle trip through some nice pretty place in the Sierra Nevada, or Park City, and have him do Radavist style reportage, but with MS Paint rather than high-end Canon glass.

  • tertius_decimus

    This is HILARIOUS! Died at Focus e-bike. So true!

  • Dirty River Bikes

    best interbike commentary ever. Also, informative. you told me about a few things I didn’t know. Some I will buy, some I won’t.